Kamikraze

After going through 2 years of high school hell, I am well aware that drama is overrated. There’s really WAY too much of it in the world. There are the important issues, like global warming and the economy, that give people something important to worry about. But then there are the really petty and trivial things like “finding that special person”, as seen in the many dating shows of reality television and “fitting in” in high school.

During middle school and most of freshman year, I was concerned of being “liked”. Not just in the romantic aspect, but being socially accepted into groups and being friends with people. Even though I have a boyfriend and a few good people I can trust and talk to about anything, I still feel somewhat unaccepted. I’m very independent, unlike before, but I’ve learned that most people interact with others just to gain something. Whether it be a few invites to parties, that put off math homework, or just acceptance in general, human interaction is one of the most important things to gain emotional stability and fulfill one’s needs. What would it be like if you couldn’t talk to anyone for the rest of your life, and isolated? I don’t know about you, but I’d probably go insane, and I’m one of the slightly more introverted types of people.

A psychologist by the name of Abraham Maslow has developed the human needs pyramid, which explains what humans need in order to maintain physical/emotional stability:

At the very bottom of this pyramid, the most important thing that makes up the foundation for this stability is physical needs. Things like “if you can breathe” and “if you have AIDS or not” fall into this category. The next thing is safety. Knowing where you are and making sure you won’t be jumped on any second in your neighborhood falls in this section. The third most important thing is social…the topic I talked about earlier. Feeling loved and belonging is important to most people. Why? It’s just human nature to feel accepted into humanity and feeling normal.

Let’s stop at the third level of the pyramid in this blog. I’m well aware that most teenagers claim to be “different” and are “random” or “crazy”. But really…I just see this all as a result of an inferiority complex. I believe that most people act this way just because they are sick of fitting into groups that they’ve been rejected from. Hell, even I’ve done it, more than most people know. Yes there are exceptions where people are actually “independent” instead of being those annoying non-conformist kids.

Truth is…in some way, we need human acceptance to work in the real world. If not, then what we do have to fall back on? What is it that we live for? Obviously, the very first thing we live for is ourselves, to make sure we survive. But once that’s fine and dandy, what else? Surely we need to interact with some people in our lives, otherwise people will mark us as crazy and put us in an insane asylum.

Independence is important, but let’s make sure that none of us step on people and see them as “evil” just because we can’t get our way from them. Someday, they may be rich and successful and probably deny your friendship just because of ignoring them in the past. People do remember these things and although may not hold grudges (some people at least), they will still remember emotional trauma and hardships more than anything else. After all, it is the emotional pains that give us a desire to achieve happiness even more and help us remember the true feeling of happiness.

And finally…the important question most of you are asking: “Merinn, what the hell was the point in all of this?”. It was just two days ago that I wanted to yell and scream at the world for not fitting in (personal issues), but I remembered what my ex said to me back when we were dating. He was a very logical and psychological person, and was looked upon for most problems. “People can’t understand you or even think of speaking to you if they don’t know what you’re trying to say,” he said. He convinced me that communication was important and I needed to break out of my shyness shell.

This entry is dedicated to all the shy/anti-social/reserved people out there. If you have a hard time making friends, one word like saying “hi” is all it takes. I still have a hard time breaking this shell, but I do try. It’s very healthy to socialize. Not like a party animal, but don’t withdraw yourself from the world. It’s good to gain independence from depending too much on people, but in a fast growing society like this, you just can’t do it alone.

I have a few tips on how to “break this shell” that work well for me, along with success rate percentages, but that’s coming up later.