My “BFF”
Every blue moon or so, I blog about my (almost non-existent) love life. Before you go off onto a blurb about how teenagers “can’t love anyone and only want relationships for sex”, you are wrong. Many teenagers I know have been in relationships for several months, and even a year or two without taking off their clothes. But that’s not what I came to blog about.
I’ve had this one friend…who I shall call my “dude friend”. He and I met in Spanish class, me sitting right behind him. From the moment I met him I knew he liked me. Sadly, I was still liking my “choir friend”, who happened to choose playing lacrosse over dating me. I couldn’t get over choir friend, but I wanted to get to know dude friend more to move on from choir friend.
As an attempt of getting to know him, I invited dude friend to the movies and occasionally flirted with him to test him. A week later, choir friend knew that I was flirting with dude friend and got pissed. I kept arguing with him until I told him off, saying that it was my love life and it was his fault he didn’t want to be a part of it since he “fell in love” with lacrosse. With that said, I soon went out with dude friend the next day. My feelings for choir friend and dude friend were about the same, but I had regrets on telling off choir friend. So, I broke up with dude friend and we became friends.
Dude friend is now one of my BFF’s, and he’s the only one I can trust with anything I have to say without ignoring me. He listens to me, cares for me, and is willing to do anything for my happiness. I’m starting to develop feelings for him also, but both of us fear of what will happen once we are in a relationship. Will we have those horrible breakups that end in a big argument and never talk to each other again? That was the real issue.
I value our friendship very much. He’s everything I wanted in a perfect friend: someone to have fun with, and someone to complain/cry to. I’m not so sure about boyfriend material. I am kind of picky on physical features. He’s not that tall (I <3 tall guys), and overweight. But I'm willing to look past that for a good relationship. He's the only one that has been on my mind lately, and I don't see anything bad happening in our futures.
So…should he be my best friend forever, or boyfriend forever? (making sense with the title here, peoples)
Has anyone ever been in a best friend to boy/girlfriend situation?
August 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Hmm tough situation. I’ve been there in the past. I had a classmate in the past and we had both liked each other. We spend approximately two years getting to know each other and we got to the best friend stage but we had still liked each other in the way to have a relationship. Silly me decided to take things one step further and date him. Less than a few weeks we broke up for stupid reasons. I then lost my best friend, my boyfriend and my favourite classmate. Sucks huh? We didn’t talk for a few years until he moved to another country. I always regret that decision I made. If we didn’t take things one step further I guess he would have still been my best friend but everything happens for a reason, right?
I really hope you make the right decision. Maybe you should take some time and give it some thought.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
I’ve never been in your situation before, so I really don’t know…but he seems to be a really good guy. It’s hard to find a guy like that. He listens to you and tries to make you happy. Most guys out there are selfish bastards…to tell you the truth LOL
I would be scared too though. The possibility of losing such a good friend is very scary. Just follow your heart, you are the only person that really knows what’s best for you.
Goo luck!!!!
August 6th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
hmmm well… I’ve sorta been in this situation before. But for us, we started from hated each other because we heard ‘bad’ rumors about each other. But then when we were put in the same class we started to become friends. Well.. best friends later on. I knew he liked me and then I liked him too but we never really confront each other about it. Then after a year I had to move away. I never told him I liked him though.
I actually kinda regret that I never told him I liked him. The past 1 year we spent together felt a little irritated because we wanted each other to know our feelings. I knew he liked me but he never knew I liked him.
So I’d say go for it. It might be risky to loose a friend but… I don’t know.
August 6th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
That can’t possibly be easy… I was in a situation like that except it was Chris (my very good friend) who liked me a lot and I didn’t like him back at all. That’s how our problem started. He didn’t talk to me for like 3 years after he confessed that he liked me and I swear to God, I was very nice when I told him that I was really sorry but I didn’t like him back THAT way. But with his bruised ego, he stayed away from me for a really long time
BUT your situation is different. You both like each other. I say, give it a shot. What have you got to lose? If you really are as good of friends as you say you are, you should be able to see it through a relationship regardless of how that turns out. I know some people who have tried dating their best friends. It worked for some and for others, it didn’t. A few of them eventually lost touch with their best friends but some of them decided to break up and go back to being just friends.
Whatever you decide on, good luck!
August 7th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I can almost remember when I was in school going through this same situation. Sometimes it will work out when you date your best friend because you were friends before anything so you are already comfortable with each other. I think it worth a try if you really like him. Appearance isn’t everything, it’s what’s within.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Hmm.. it can get weird, that kind of situation. I think, in your shoes, I would give it a go - just to see how it feels. If it feels right, then stay boyf/girlf and perhaps you will be with him for a long time. If it doesn’t feel right, you’ll both know - and I’m pretty sure he’d understand if you just wanted to stay friends. The way you have described him, he’s a very understanding person. Just be sure not to play him around.
Good luck!!
Bekah
-xxx-
August 8th, 2008 at 6:59 am
This is a really nice theme.
Anyway, I haven`t had much dealings with the opposite sex … actually, i haven`t had a boyfriend in 3 years. I`m kind of rusty.
But I think you should at least try to go out with him. You`re taking a risk, but something pretty wonderful could come out of it. Apparently you two care about each a good bit, so it could turn out pretty well. I wish you the best on that! Go for it.
Oh yeah. I started the magazine site. Check it out at http://republic-21.com
August 8th, 2008 at 9:09 am
very classic problem. many people i know have gone through this.
first, choir friend was jealous, he likes you but is not ready to give up his game for a girl which will be hard since to me, it seems you are the type who likes attention and care from his guy which is what dude friend is giving you.
don’t just date a guy because he’s a nice friend. don’t just date a guy because you think you like him. or because he likes you.
think.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
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